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  • Carla Hemans - Life Coach

Letting Go is Scary but Necessary!!!

Updated: Jul 7


"I accept the fact that my heart sometimes needs more time to accept what my mind already knows"

I got tired of feeling guilty because of the good things in my life. I felt guilty about having a good relationship with my mom because some of my siblings didn't. I felt guilty about being in a loving relationship with my husband because the people around us were not in sustainable relationships.


I was scared to celebrate the good things in my life because the people around me were so unhappy, and I didn't want to be insensitive, but then I started feeling like the people around me their pain became my own.


I'm scared if I let go of some people, I will be similar to the people who didn't try to make things better, and I don't want to be that way, I don't want to give up, my goal is to be different. That being said, there are some people that require more help than we can give.


I learned people transfer pain if you allow it. I needed to let go of other people's pain and give my life a chance to evolve. I had to free up space in my life, so the people that bring joy can enter freely.


If I let go and stop absorbing every story, what will happen? I create space for healthy relationships that will encourage growth and offer an abundance of joy. If I let go of other people's problems, I give myself opportunities to celebrate the good things in my life and create an atmosphere to welcome more.


I started to count the relationships I would need to release, and I was scared because the number is so high, is it worth it? Will I be ok?

Then I had a thought, If I was drowning, how many people would it take to save me? I believe it would only take one person. Why am I trying so hard to keep broken relationships that are constantly filled with painful experiences?


I learned a fundamental lesson about life. Life is not dependent on the number of people you have in your life, it's based on the quality of people you have in your life, so I finally decided to let go of some relationships.


The process of letting go isn't simple it involves;

  • Removing your rose-coloured glasses, meaning love can cloud your judgement. Remind yourself of the good times, but be mindful that the bad times make the relationship difficult to sustain. Give yourself some mental space from a person that is causing you pain or transferring their pain to you.

  • Focus on empowering yourself; put your energy into a hobby that will motivate you to build new relationships.


  • Practice forgiveness, people who transfer pain or cause you pain, are still people, they may not know how to help themselves and have given up. If they reach out to you, be open to forgiveness, let go of resentment, have compassion and empathy in your heart, and those things will follow you throughout your journey.

Being a Life Coach has enabled me to assist others in moving forward. I learned to manage my time and recognize when enough is enough. Do you know when your cup is full? What do you do about it?




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