I remember studying Maslow's hierarchy of needs in a Psychology class. It's the first time I started to gain an understanding of the mind and how it works.
First, we need food and water; then we need a sense of security; we need to feel safe.
Then we need a sense of belonging; now, there is the challenge.
It's easy to know if you have food and water, you won't be hungry, and you won't be dehydrated if you have enough.
It's easy to know when you feel secure; you may have a home so you feel safe.
But what about a sense of belonging. How does this show up in your life? It's your friends and family. The relationships we build as we go through life.
Not having a strong family foundation impaired my judgement on many issues; I would not trust others because I prepared myself for them to leave even though they agreed to stay.
How often are we responsible for the hurt we are feeling?
We would like to blame others but is it their fault, or is our interpretation of our reality?
Most of us get stuck in the third stage. We may have bad relationships with our family then later have issues forming relationships with our friends and romantic interests.
I found the best way to resolve most issues in my life was to understand myself better. I have an understanding of my values and the things that drive me. I allow myself to make mistakes and I take the time to celebrate the wins in my life.
I have a journal of my experiences. I write daily and remind myself that I was meant to be here. The most important conversation I ever had was with myself. The most important conversation you will ever have will be with yourself, so start talking.
Here are some great tips that helped me immensely
First, I created a list of my habits. I needed to decide what habits I needed to change:
If I wanted to feel different I knew I had to dig deeper than I was willing to go. I had many self sabotaging habits. That was leading to my insecurities. I had to figure them out and make adjustments.
Second, I focused on one good habit and I did it religiously. I noted this in my journal and I savored the experience. I was good at reaching out to people. I would make sure I send a text, email or call the people I love daily.
Third, I chose one "bad" habit I could could quit. I knew I wouldn't be able to change myself at once and I didn't want to set up myself up for failure so I focused on the habit that I felt was the easiest to change. I changed my morning routine. I read something positive and connected with my higher spirit instead of waking up and engaging in meaningless conversation on social media.
Fourth, I took a walk. I committed to walking at least 3 or 4 times a week. My walks would last about 2 hours. After my walk, I would note the things I thought about in my journal. This helped me immensely.
Fifth, I started going to bed slightly earlier in an attempt to get at least seven hours of sleep. I am still working on this, falling asleep is easy, staying asleep can be challenging. That means something is in my spirit that is unsettled. I'm confident I will figure this out.
Sixth, practicing gratitude. Every day I wake up expressing all the things I am most grateful for, health, strength, home, love and family.
If you are stuck in an area of your life. Start writing, the solutions will slowly come to the forefront of your mind.
If you feel stuck in the third stage of Maslow’s hierarchy, grab a warm drink and read my book called Developing Your Inner Strength on Amazon, it has excellent tips on working on yourself.
The link is below;
The last two stages of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs is Self Esteem and Self-actualization. Let's get to these stages together.